Humbug

I have to be honest.  I’m feeling like somewhat of a humbug this year.  It makes me sad because I really do love the Christmas season.  Maybe it’s the extra classwork that is keeping my mind off of the holiday.  I can’t be certain.  What I do know is its halfway through the month, we have no tree, and the most festive thing I’ve done so far was downing some eggnog.  And that was in November.  I didn’t even finish the bottle.  Tragic.

Perhaps one of the things that has been weighing on me the most is that, assuming I can get hired somewhere, this time next year I’ll be transitioning from student to pastor.  The “T-minus 12 months” is starting to make it more real, while at the same time it’s causing enough anxiety to make me wonder if I’m the type of person who should ever step behind a pulpit.  The audacity of it all, that I should be an ambassador of Christ, that I should preach the Gospel in a formal setting.  Who am I?

A different perspective is always a good thing, but really, I have no idea what it’s going to be like when I’ll begin preaching.  I know how to write a story well enough, but telling it is another thing altogether.  When I start to weave the Gospel story in a creative enough way that will connect with people, will I be able to effectively communicate it?  Will the integrity of the Gospel stand on my personality, or my speaking style, or me at all?  Maybe it’s a silly thing to think about when the apostles preached until they died.  Maybe perseverance for the Gospel is what’s important.

It’s easy to get distracted from what we need to focus on.  Right now I need to focus on being a good husband, and a good student.  Those two things are enough to fill any schedule.  In the meantime, I’ll hopefully be able to squeeze in putting up our Christmas tree this week.  At least that way the cats can enjoy some holiday cheer in their plastic evergreen fort.

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